I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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