It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
