I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
