His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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