Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
