I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
