office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
