u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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