are you so shy because you have an std?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
