I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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