addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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