I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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