Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
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I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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