they need to just BURY HIM!
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
