I never want to see another naked old woman again.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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