Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
