i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
