Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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