I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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