And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize