He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
