I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
