you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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