I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
