umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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