He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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