I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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