I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
