Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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