Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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