you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Never joke about your clitoris.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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