i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
