so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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