I murdered the dance floor call the cops
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Randomize
