they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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