New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
worst night to have a conscience
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Randomize
