Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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