I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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