the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize