how can u be prego again
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
