Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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