I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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