We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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