I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Your tits are I can't wait for
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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