I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We don't watch enough power rangers
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
