Sry I called you an 8
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
