He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
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Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
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I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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