he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
