I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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