she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize