another moral hangover. fuck.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Semen is not good for contacts.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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