here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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