So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
