If i come over, it means nothing
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
