So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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