I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
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halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
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You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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