Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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